Not fine at all
by MexeRG
Summary: Voldemort is gaining power and war is about to break in the wizarding world. While most are untrusting, Blaise and Ginny learn to trust each other and see beyond their house colors. AU. Rated MA for later chapters.
1. I'm (not) fine

Disclaimer: I own nothing from the HP universe.

Blaise could see Danielle's lips moving as they walked down Diagon Alley, but none of the words made it to his ears. It was as if they dropped from her mouth into oblivion. But he knew that it was his brain that refused to focus on her and what she was saying. How could he after seeing the flash of auburn hair a little ways down the street?.

Blaise inhaled sharply. Could it be her? Too much had happened since the last time he had seen her, since the day she turned her back on him and walked away down the cold hallways of the Hogwarts' dungeons. Would she care that he was still alive? Or had she erased him from her mind completely? He was scared to find out. However, he could not bring himself to stop his feet to walk on the direction where he had seen her… part of her. He had to know.

Blaise didn't realize that his breathing had become heavy and his face pale until Dani touched his hand. At first the words didn't register, but he knew he had to answer so he focused on the moving lips.

"Blaise, are you alright?", Danielle asked, worry in her eyes.

"I'm fine", he answered with a smile. "Really", he added when he saw the incredulous look on her face. But inside Blaise could feel his body burning up with fear and desire. What would happen when she saw him? He looked back at Danielle, he did really care about her. But no one, not even she could fill the dark whole Ginny had left behind when she walked away.

"_I'm not fine at all_", Blaise thought to himself as he kissed Danielle on the tip of her nose. "_I'm really not fine at all"_.

**A/N**: After years away from and writing I am back! If you are still waiting for updates on "The Unknown Legend" I am sorry to say they are not coming just yet. I need to ease back into this, so I rather leave it there until I feel comfortable enough to finish it or re-do it.


	2. Home for Christmas

The eagle owl followed Blaise's movements with his beady black eyes, and even though Blaise knew that there was no chance the bird could tell his mother how upset he was it made him nervous to have it in his bedroom. But the owl would not leave without a letter, and his hands were shaking too damn hard to pick up the quill, let alone to write a proper response to his mother's request.

When he finally managed to gain some control over his limbs and fingers, Blaise ran over to his desk and wrote a quick reply.

_Mother,_

_You can expect me home on Christmas break. I would rather not raise any suspicions. Rumors spread like wildfire in this silly little school._

_-Blaise._

As he placed the dot besides his name he knew that there was no way out, no turning back. His fate was sealed. He was to follow in his family's footsteps, no questions asked. he had thought about running away many times before, but he knew that as long as his mother lived there was no chance of hiding for long.

"Bloody hell", he hissed between clenched teeth, as he slammed his closed fist onto the table. It stung but it didn't cause much damage or relief. He wanted to scream, he wanted to hurt his mother, but he also wanted to live and if he didn't want to end up dead before his next birthday he would do as he was told. He would go home for Christmas, accept the Mark and become a Death Eater.

Blaise stood up and attached the note to the eagle owl that was still perched on his bed's headboard. The bird stood still until it felt the last tug, at which point it spread it's wings and flew out the window.

"Maybe death isn't such a bad choice", he said out loud as he waited for the owl to disappear from view.

Ginny laid on her bed after a grueling first week back at Hogwarts. She didn't know if the intensity of the school work was due to her status as a sixth year, or if it was the teachers way of keeping the students' mind busy and away from the dangers of the imminent war. But no matter how many papers she had to write or how many spells she had to memorize, there was no way she would focus on anything but the war.

She had seen Ron, Harry and Hermione dissaperate the day of Bill's wedding, and even though she knew it was their way of protecting the rest of them, Ginny felt a twinge of resentment against them. They could have stayed, they could have fought. She had fought. She had send hexes flying left and right. She had even knocked out a Death Eater.

Ginny sighed. It hadn't matter how well she had fought that day or how many times she had spoken to her parents, Molly and Arthur had forced her into the Hogwarts Express and back for another year of potion making and book reading. How would that help her prepare for what was coming? Ginny already knew far more than her classmates or than any other seventh year - except for Hermione of course-, after all she had spent all of her summer studying, making potions and practicing her dueling skills. She could drop out of school and still not be missing anything important. It was so irritating, she would have rather spent her time with The Order, preparing for the war.

At this point there was nothing she could do, she would keep on training by herself and hopefully by Christmas time her parents would see that education was far from important considering what was going on in the world. Besides, without Dumbledore to reign over the school and with Voldemort gaining power, Hogwarts was not be the safe haven adults made it out to be.

"All I have to do is keep it together until Christmas," she said to herself. "I'll be going home and won't be coming back." She smiled.


	3. Frustration and Life as a Ravenclaw

Ginny POV

The sound of the door slamming shut resonated through the stone hallway. Ginny was lucky no one was around, otherwise she would most likely receive detention for her attitude, but she couldn't help it, she was frustrated beyond limits. For weeks she had been trying to practice new spells that would come in handy if she was to join The Order and fight in the war. At first she had partnered up with Luna and Neville and though they were very enthusiastic, they were still lacking some of the skills she had mastered over the summer. And so, her practices turned to teaching lessons that were not going to help her learn anything new.

Now she was roaming the halls looking for a suitable room to use for practice. At first she had headed back to the Requirement Room, but realized that it was anything but helpful when trying to recreate a real fighting scenario. But she had to give the room some serious props, whenever she thought of something she needed, no matter how crazy, the room made it available, even though she did not want it handed to her. She needed the room to stay just as any old room so she could practice being creative in order to get the upper hand when fighting in real life. So she began her hunt for a new study environment.

After an hour of walking around the castle, she hadn't found a room that would fit her requisites. It couldn't be crowded with furniture, nor completely empty. Though school furniture was okay, it was not ideal. She would not be fighting in a classroom unless Voldemort decided to attack Hogwarts, but it was clear that he already knew Harry wasn't there, otherwise chances were he would have already made his move. Every nerve on her body stood at attention with that thought. Would the war have broken out already had Ron, Harry and Hermione come back to school? For the first time since they left, she was glad they had. She was still not ready to fight. Not to The Order's standards, at least, so she was glad to have the extra time to practice.

"If only I could find a bloody room!" she mumbled under her breath. Fifteen minutes later another door slammed shut and Ginny's frustrated scream could be heard down the corridor. Exasperated and defeated Ginny made her way to the Great Hall.

...

Blaise POV

"Thinking about Christmas Break?" Blaise heard the voice of his best friend right beside him at the Slytherin table, but didn't look up. At the mention of Christmas Break his small smiled had fallen from his face.

"Whatever do you mean?" the olive-skin boy asked looking up at his silver blond friend with a forced smirk he hoped looked natural. It worked, Malfoy did not even take a second look at his friend before sitting down to quietly talk about how excited he was to be joining the Death Eater ranks on Christmas Eve.

Draco's father had already told him that the ceremony would take place at the strike of midnight on December 25th at the Malfoy Manor. Blaise kept quiet and nodded ever so often so Draco thought he was listening intently, when all he was doing was looking for ways to escape that would not end up with him dead, or worse… tortured.

He had also received a letter from his mother letting him know the ceremony would be on Christmas Eve. His stomach had turned and his thought had gone straight to fleeing, but again his sense of survival had won the internal battle of wills that had been going on in his head for the past months.

"Maybe if Dumbledore was still alive he would have kept me safe", Blaise had thought over and over again. But what was the point of thinking about that sort of thing when it wasn't really an option. In his desperation he had even thought about reaching out to the Golden Trio, but thought better of it. They would never believe him, they didn't have a reason to. And just one wrong move from either party would end up with him chained in a remote dungeon. If only he wasn't so reluctant to dying… What would he be willing to do if fear didn't take over him?

Luckily for Blaise, Draco was far too self absorbed to notice his friend had not been listening to a word he had said so far. Zabini focus on Malfoy's face and realized that his controlled expression of joy had disappeared and that now a mask of utter annoyance had taken over the blonde's regal features, so he started listening again, wondering what had bother Draco so much.

"...those idiots. They might think they can hide Merlyn knows where without the Dark Lord finding out, but they should know better. Father has already sent out parties of poachers and werewolves looking for them, so it won't be long until they are caught", a small grunt half disgust, half laughter left escaped his mouth. "Not even that Mudbloods wit will save them now. The greatest witch this century has ever seen", Draco continued with a mocking tone. "Soon enough she'll be tied up at Malfoy Manor and we'll see if her wits will do her any good".

Blaise just nodded and gave Draco a knowing look, as if to tell him that he knew very darn well that the Trio was soon to Fall under the power of Voldemort. But not so deep inside he hoped that against all odds they would prevail. Maybe the war could be over before it began. Maybe he wouldn't have to get the Mark, though he really doubted.

"Oh, before I forget. Father also told me that school was soon to become a place fit for purebloods, if you know what I mean", Draco added without looking at Blaise but towards the Gryffindor table. "So scum will surely be taken care of".

That's when Blaise saw her. Auburn hair and a pale, slightly freckled face. She, just like her brother could not keep her emotions from showing in her face, and now her features were set somewhere between annoyance and frustration. Blaise knew he had seen the Weasley girl before, it was just that he never _noticed _her before that moment. The dark red of her hair, the curved of her body, the button nose that sat right where it should and was sprinkled with light freckles that gave her an air of innocence -that was far from being real by the way she kept on stabbing the steak before her-. A smile crept onto his lips.

"What are _you_ smiling at?" Draco asked, his voice dripping with venom and disgust as he followed his friend's gaze.

"Oh nothing really… just how nice it will be to finally be able to Crucio someone in the hall". Blaise's stomach turned and tighten at his own words, but Draco smiled and agreed with a laugh.

"Life would have been much better if I had been born a Ravenclaw", Blaise thought and turned back to his meal. Steak.


	4. The rescuer in the dark

Ginny's POV

Halloween was coming up fast but still Ginny couldn't find a proper room to practice in. It was quite frustrating and unnerving. How could she show her parents that she was ready to be a part of the Order if she wasn't ready to kick ass? In her desperation she had even tried to sneak off into the Forbidden Forest but Hagrid had caught her just as she was entering it in the middle of the night. Ginny was lucky that Hagrid really liked her, otherwise her next stop would have been the Headmistress office, and McGonagall was not one for breaking rules. Not even for a good cause.

So now she had to be more careful and keep her practicing inside the castle walls.

"But where?" Ginny had been walking around the castle for hours and had become too frustrated and exasperated to notice Mrs Norris sitting at the end of the hallway looking away from her. When Ginny realized Filch's cat was there it was too late, she had already stepped on her tail. Mrs. Norris wailed in pain and turned around to see her attacker. She hissed at Ginny and tried to claw at her legs.

"Shit!" The redhead cursed under her breath. She knew she couldn't let the cat get a hold of her, otherwise it would be extremely difficult to explain the scratches all over her legs or anywhere else and Filch would make it his life's mission to make her life a living hell. She had to get away, but could she outrun a cat? Mrs. Norris tried to jump on top of her. "_I guess there's no time like the present to figure it out._"

Ginny pointed her wand at the ground between herself and Mrs. Norris and made it as slippery as fresh ice, then turned around and ran as fast as she could. As she ran down the hallway all she could hear were her shoes hitting the stone floor and the cat's wails as she tried to cross the icy ground. But just before she could make it around the corner she heard something else; Filch's worried cries.

"Fuck Merlin! He's going to have my head for this".

Ginny pushed herself to go faster. If Filch found her there was no way she wouldn't be sent to the McGonagall's office. And even though the Headmistress hated the cat as much as everyone else at Hogwarts, she would have no other choice than to punish Ginny were she caught red handed.

Ginny listened to the sounds around her and just as he had expected she could hear the "meows" and hisses from Mrs. Norris as well as Filch's running footsteps. She was done for.

Further ahead one of the stairwells was beginning to change position. If she moved quickly she could be able to get to the top and jump on the landing before it reached the other side. Filch would have no quick way of getting to her. She was just about to reach the first step when something caught her arm and dragged very forcefully into a dark… was it a room?

Ginny couldn't see a thing, but no matter how hard she tried her _lumos_ spell wasn't working. She stayed still for a few seconds, gripping her wand tight in her hand, ready to hex whoever it was all the way to the next century if it was necessary. She hadn't had much practice with big _fancy _spells, but she knew how to cause pain.

"_Come on Ginevra, keep your breathing even until all the cards are on the table. Keep your cool and don't show fear nor intention._" Ginny made a conscious effort to keep her breathing as normal as possible, even though she knew the only way to accomplish it would be to not even thinking about it. She took a step to her left as silently as she could, trying to put some distance between her and what she was now sure was some sort of captor.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," came the voice of a guy that sure enough was standing right behind her. Ginny stopped on her tracks and turned around, hoping that at some point the room would light up and she could see who the fuck was playing with her. "Just two more steps to the left and you'll be falling down a flight of stairs."

The redhead had heard that voice before but she couldn't put a face on it. She pointed her wand at the place where the voice had come and tried a few hexes, but nothing happened. "_Shit!_"

"I don't think it's nice to point you wand to the person that just saved you from Filch, but I guess my method wasn't all that friendly and welcoming." There was a moment of silence, maybe the guy expected her to talk, to say thank you or something along those lines, but she kept quiet.

"Just walk up the stairs on your left and you'll be out of both the frying pan and the fire."

Ginny kept her wand ready waiting for her captor -or was it savior?- to say or do something else, but nothing happend. Suddenly, there was light and she could finally see where she was. Ginny was standing in a small landing between two flights of stairs, one going up and one going down, with nothing else in sight.

"What the bloody hell just happened?"

...

Blaise's POV

Blaise had left the Slytherin common room under the pretense of patrolling the halls in search of people "looking to get detention". It was the Friday afternoon of a Hogsmeade weekend which meant that if he passed out any detentions those students would not be able to enjoy the wonders of the magical town. Lucky for him that was not only a favorite pastime for many Slytherin prefects, but also something that most liked to do on their own so they could later brag about the amount of detentions they had handed it out, giving Blaise the perfect excuse to roam the halls with none of his housemates tagging along.

But the Slytherin could not be bothered with such childish acts; he had far more important things to think about and deal with. He had finally decided to risk it all and run away before Christmas Eve, and with Halloween just around the corner, he had a little over a month to get everything ready before his great escape.

"Nothing like having the noose around your neck to get your creative juices flowing" he thought sarcastically. This was going to take a lot of time.

...

Blaise was careful to avoid crowded corridors as he made his way to one of the entrances to the hideout he had found on his fourth year at school. At first it had been a place where he could relax and get away from the annoyances of a school where his status as a pureblood meant very little outside of his house, and mudbloods and blood traitors were treated just like him. It was outrageous!

But then, on the summer before his sixth year, he saw as a few Death Eaters that had been in a meeting with his mother, raped and tortured one of their servants. Considering the way he had been brought up it shouldn't have bothered him, and up until that point it never had. By then he already knew that sort of thing happened on a regular basis in his household and others, but had never witness it. His stomach had turned and a mixture of shame, disgust and anger had washed over him like tidal waves. After that day he began to withdraw from it all, to see things differently and to dread the day he would have join Voldemort's ranks.

That summer he had begun to daydream about escaping and starting a new life, but he knew his mother too well and knew that it wasn't a real possibility. For over a year he had no real hope to move on, but now desperation gripped at him and his survival instinct kicked into high gear. It was time to take the reins of his own life or die trying. And for that he needed his secret room, a place where he could plan everything out without prying eyes or people asking questions. But where was he supposed to start?

...

Hello lovely people, hope you are having a great start to a new year. Thank you so much for liking/following this story. It's taking me forever to update, but as a new year's resolution Ive decided to post at least once a week. The best part of this resolution is that if I don't come through, you have the complete and utter right e-mail me and nag me all you want. Also, the very next week I would have to post 2 chapters instead of one.

Have a lovely 2016! see ya soon.


End file.
